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About Unmasking in Manitoba

Hi, I’m a disabled autistic writer living in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Some see living here as a place where I can easily run toward quiet skies, wide fields, and plenty of space for overthinking, which somehow causes me to retreat back to isolation in a small apartment. This blog is where I try to make sense of what it means to live in a world that often feels like it was built without people like me in mind.

I write about the in-between moments: when I’m proud of how my brain sees patterns others miss, and when I wish I could just fit in without effort. I share reflections on neurodiversity while decoding the social aspects of my experience, and honest thoughts about navigating identity, community, and belonging.

Living here means I’m surrounded by a growing city full of engineers but not always by groups of people who are understanding. Writing and art is how I bridge that distance. Creativity is a way to innovate in my own rhythm, without masking or apologizing.

If you’ve ever felt out of step with the world, or like your mind buzzes to a different frequency, you might find something familiar here. I’m not an expert or certified specialist (research everything you read), but I am here to give answers (some are repetitive, I will apologize for that) and share what I see as truth, one post at a time.

Thanks for reading, for listening, and for letting me exist here a little more authentically.

- Aaron

Freqeuently Asked Questions

Q: What is autism?

A very good question. Because every autistic person experiences autism differently, I'm going referrence The Autism Self-Advocacy Network when it comes to answering the question:

Autism is a developmental disability that affects how we experience the world around us. Autistic people are an important part of the world. Autism is a normal part of life, and makes us who we are.

Autism has always existed. Autistic people are born autistic and we will be autistic our whole lives. Autism can be diagnosed by a doctor, but you can be autistic even if you don’t have a formal diagnosis. Because of myths about autism, it can be harder for autistic adults, autistic girls, and autistic people of color to get a diagnosis. But anyone can be autistic, regardless of race, gender, or age.

Autistic people are in every community, and we always have been. Autistic people are people of color. Autistic people are immigrants. Autistic people are a part of every religion, every income level, and every age group. Autistic people are women. Autistic people are queer, and autistic people are trans. Autistic people are often many of these things at once. The communities we are a part of and the ways we are treated shape what autism is like for us.

There is no one way to be autistic. Some autistic people can speak, and some autistic people need to communicate in other ways. Some autistic people (like myself) also have intellectual disabilities, and some autistic people don’t. Some autistic people need a lot of help in their day-to-day lives, and some autistic people only need a little help (but one thing that's common is that they will always need help with something, and that's perfectly okay). All of these people are autistic, because there is no right or wrong way to be autistic. All of us experience autism differently, but we all contribute to the world in meaningful ways. We all deserve understanding, acceptance, and inclusion.

Q: What makes an individual autistic?

If you are learning about autism for the first time, it's most likely not what you think it is of the top of your head. Autism sometimes shows up in ways that are obvious, but for most autistics such as myself, the autism itself is invisible on the outside.

What do I mean? let's break it down.

Social skills: From a very young age, we learn to hide (or "mask") our discomfort in social situations (or in my case, try to do so and fail a lot). We also learn how to mimic others so we don't stand out. We end up appearing "weird" or "quirky" rather than having social anxiety. But most of us constantly struggle with social anxiety.

Special interests: We often become "obsessed" with our passions. But when we learn that most people don't want to hear us talking about them constantly, we learn to limit what we share, even though, internally, we're screaming because it feels like we're bursting at the seams. In the past, I've been sharing a lot of stuff but most of my friends be like "what?" when they see it, so I stopped or at least toned it down quite a bit. This is also why I've kept certain things I create quiet or within groups unless someone asks me about it in conversation.

Executive functioning: We struggle to start important tasks, plan, and organize important activities. We even struggle to get started on things we love to do (one of the reasons I love online learning that is at my own pace). Outwardly, we appear lazy and unmotivated, but inside we are fighting with our brains to just to do what we know we need to do. That's why I sometimes miss appointments, don't show up to hang out sometimes even though we're loyal to those closest to us, don't make deadlines or fill certain quotas, or don't reply to phone calls, emails, and texts right away. Sometimes we hit the other side of the spectrum where there are certain specific things excel at like being too early for appointments, or almost perfecting a Halloween costume for Comic Con that we spent months creating.
The issue with executive functioning is coupled with anxiety as well. We're afraid of making huge mistakes in our jobs due to pressure from micro-management and policies/regulations/rules that do not acknowledge our neurology. To put pressure on us to do a "better" or quicker job through a lose of temper as opposed to mild-mannered encouragement to excel only makes us perform worse.

Stims (self-stimulatory behavior): We rock, we move, we pick our skin, play with our hair until we get split ends, chew our nails, or we bite our cheeks. Most of us learn to hide the stims that would make us appear odd or stand out too much. But if you look closely, you'll probably see a few. In my case, if you see me doing any of these things, ask me if I'm doing okay.

This last one is rarely ever spoken about but is an important one that a lot of folks don't understand:

IQ: About 75% of autistic people have average IQs or above, and more than half of us have above average IQs as compared to only about 16% of the general population.
This means that we typically do too well in school to be identified as having special needs. If our parents bring up our special needs to our teachers or school administrators, they point to our grades and tell them it's all in their heads.

There's the other extreme where we excel at displaying our IQ in one way while failing at sharing our knowledge in other ways. For example, I can present ideas in writing or in a solo podcast/press conference format if scripted, but if you were to throw me into a situation where I have to debate those ideas in person or to improvise in an interview or live video news recording, I probably won't make a convincing case for my side of an argument.

For the vast majority of us, autism is a hidden disability. If we tell you we're autistic but we don't "look" like we are, please don't tell us we're lying. Please try not to make assumptions. Ask questions. Listen. If we recommend learning resources, please take time to utilize them (just stay away from Autism Speaks). We prefer to be accepted rather than to be "cured." There is no downside to understanding who we are.

Q: Why isn't this site full of images and cool javascript animations and stuff?

I want this place online to be quick for everyone to see anywhere in the world as well as being as accessibility friendly as possible. I still have a long way to go and much to improve on, but I do hope that people can let me know what I can do to set everything up well for all readers that come here.

Q: This is a joke! Why do people want to become autistic? More and more people are saying that they are autistic.

I was born autistic and never EVER asked to be "not normal." But in the past few years, I've learned to accept the parts of who I am even if I can't control those things. What I'm looking for is proper acceptance and recognition instead of being treated like a monster.

Speaking for everyone else who is neurodiverse, part of the problem is some non-autistics believe autistic folks are making up the fact they are a different neurotype or that children outgrow autism and similiar neorological disabilities. Autism is not a disease or a personality that can be cured. Autism is an identity because it's a permanent part of a person, self-diagnosed or not in my case. Again, there is no person with autism. That's why autistic people are autistic.

Side-note: I am also NOT saying that there is something wrong with everyone especially when I claim that autism is under-diagnosed.

Q: Besides your About Me section up top, tell me about yourself!

First, I'm a dude in my early 40s. I was originally diagnosed with Aspergers in 2002 after I took things a bit too far trying to become an full-time musician. Ever since then, I've worked dead-end jobs while trying to become a software engineer until I got married in 2013. I dabbled in app development freelance for a bit and tried to work at Hootsuite before injuring my back in 2024 (thankfully I dodged that bullet now that I know they're working for ICE in the US). I finally entered the workforce again after healing from my injury only to find myself unable to handle work life in a job that claims to know about autism, and to support autistic people but really doesn't. That lead me to complete burnout a few months ago and after recovering, I started writing this blog to advocate in my own way.

Oh yeah, second, besides music and tech, I have other interests too, but one of my biggest loves is retro video games particularily games on the Super Nintendo or indie games made with GB Studio for the Nintendo Gameboy.

Q: I'm sorry that life in your young adult years didn't workout the way you wanted it to, but in reality, you've wasted a ton of time writing these posts (or used AI to help write them) to justify how lazy you are.

Ok. This is a very bold claim. Everything I say is an explanation, not an excuse. The amount of work I put into this blog shows how much personal agency and responsibility I take in my own life even as I constantly struggle with injuries and mental exhaustion. First, autistic commentary that includes laziness is a harmful misconception rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of neurodiversity. Autistic people often expend tremendous mental and emotional energy navigating a world not designed for their neurology. What appears as "laziness" is usually exhaustion from invisible efforts such as masking social "quirks," painful eye contact, and trying to stick to routine.

My autistic struggle also involves strategic withdrawal to conserve energy in overwhelming environments like shopping malls during Boxing Day, heavy metal concerts, and family gatherings where people are screaming about who's right about the latest conspiracy theory. Autistic challenges are real, but my work ethic is rarely the issue. When it comes to autism, there's a mismatch between autistic people's needs and societal expectations that creates friction.

Second, laziness does not exist. There's a whole book written about why, but to be brief, what we label as laziness is typically a symptom of unmet needs whether it’s burnout, executive dysfunction, lack of motivation due to unfulfilling tasks, or environmental barriers. For autistic individuals, this is especially evident as difficulty initiating tasks may stem from neurological differences in planning (executive function), not a lack of willpower. Society’s capitalist obsession with constant productivity ignores biological limits and diverse functioning styles, pathologizing rest as laziness when it’s often a necessary response to unsustainable demands.

Reframing laziness as unmet needs leaves room in autistic discussions for empathy and practical solutions for them to be productive and thrive in their lives. For autistic people, accommodations like flexible schedules or sensory-friendly workspaces can unlock potential obscured by exhaustion. Dismantling the myth of laziness benefits everyone, not just people like me. It shifts the focus from blame to understanding. Recognizing effort over quotas and unrealistically high standards creates space for neurodivergent individuals to excel in whatever they do without apology, proving that the problem was never their work ethic, but a world unwilling to adapt.

Q: What books or podcasts or YouTube channels do you recommend we check out to verify some of your writings?

I'll link the authors and list podcasts but won't be listing YouTube videos as a lot of the content is mostly AI slop and opinions) for you to check out. Here's what I'm into:

Authors and Sites

Autism Organizations to Look to and Which Ones to Avoid

Podcasts (Not All Autism Related)

Are you available for a coffee or meet up?

Due to recovering from social anxiety, I will not make any promises or say yes or no. Feel free to send me an email (see contact link at bottom of the page) and we'll set up a meeting depending on my availability and your message sent. During this journey of getting my life back together, I would prefer to meet online as opposed to in-person for right now. I'll update this page when I start earning some cash to travel or am able to go for coffee with some of my Winnipeg readers (if you're from Vancouver or Toronto and willing to pay for me to fly out just to meet, that would be really cool *hint hint*).