Non-autistic Privilege 101

Sometimes I feel like using the word privilege is just as bad as saying the F word, but I think we need to talk about it.

First, what is privilege? When discussing things like race and gender, privilege is an unearned advantage, right, benefit, or access granted to a group of people simply because they belong to that people group (often without the awareness of said-privileged group). Privilege is systemic and structural and cannot be changed by individual means (in other words, becoming more "righteous" or exercising personal responsibility does nothing to change the system or structures unless everyone agrees to make changes together). In other words, the advantages privileged groups have are built into the fabric of Western society, institutions, and culture (of course, this concept also can play out in non-Western countries and continents as well). Privilege isn't just about wealth or status alone. It's about the baseline experience of navigating a world that is designed for any privileged group that is far above the baseline experience of those who are in a marginalized group.

So what does this have to do with autism? In the context of neurological differences, what so many people (at least in my life) barely discuss is the unearned advantages non-autistic people possess simply by having a brain that functions in the way the majority of society defines as "normal." This is what I call "non-autistic privilege." Autistic people, like myself, who do not fit this standard, have to live life in a world that is frequently confusing and exhausting for them.

The most fundamental aspect of non-autistic privilege is that the world is built around their neurological processing, thinking, responding, and most importantly, socializing. When a certain type of connection to the world is considered the default, everything is already calibrated for the non-autistic. Roads, schedules, social scripts, and communication styles are designed to accommodate non-autistic processing. Autistic people are constantly navigating a world that feels "off" or malfunctioning relative to their own processing, requiring them to use and burn through extra energy just to live a normal life in a neutral environment.

Non-autistic privilege also allows people to rely on implicit communication, whether it's reading between the lines, understanding sarcasm, using idioms, and making eye contact to gauge interest. Non-autistic people don't regularily find themselves in a place where they have to explain their jokes or figure out the subtext of a conversation. They can assume that their communication is being understood. Autistic people, who often process language literally and rely on explicit information as well as written instructions, are frequently accused of being "rude," "stupid," "cold," or "disengaged" simply for not picking up on social cues that non-autistics consider basic. The burden of translation falls entirely on the autistic person. This leads to many situations where the non-autistic unintentionally commits ableism.

When it comes to noise, smell, or anything involving the "five-senses," non-autistic privilege means that the average sensory environment is tolerable. The hum of a refrigerator, the brightness of fluorescent lights, the texture of clothing, and the noise of a tenant in an upstairs apartment are all things most non-autistics can filter out or manage with little effort. For autistics, these same stimuli can cause sensory overload, pain, frustration, or panic. Non-autistic privilege is the freedom to ignore sensory input that would be debilitating for an autistic person who can't deal with sensory overload no matter how hard they try.

Non-autistic privilege allows people to be their authentic selves without having to perform. Autistic people are often expected to "mask" their "quirky behaviours." To review, masking is the ability of autistics to hide certain things autistics do. Masking involves autistics straining to keep themselves from stimming (stimming involves self-soothing habits like twisting hair or biting nails), refraining from over-sharing or engaging in their special interests when it's inappropriate, or fake eye contact like starring at someone's nose instead of their eyes. The worst part of autistics masking is that they have to do certain things to mimic non-autistic behaviour just to fit in and be accepted by their peers. This is exhausting and can lead to severe burnout, anxiety, and depression. Non-autistics never have to think about whether they are performing or not because being non-autistic is their natural state.

Non-autistic privilege also covers the assumption that the non-autistic way of thinking is the "correct" way. When an autistic person acts differently (like saying things like "autistic" instead of "person with autism,"), they are often pathologized, viewed as a problem to be solved or a tragedy to be cured. Non-autistics are seen as "normal," while autistic people are seen as "disordered" or at worst "chaotic" by groups of people that support neuro-eugenics like Autism Speaks. This narrative strips autistic people of their agency and frames their existence as a deficit rather than simply a difference.

And finally, non-autistic privilege allows for a fluid, often unspoken negotiation of social space. Eye contact, personal space, and various unspoken social boundaries are generally understood and adhered to by non-autistics. Autistic people often struggle with these concepts and are frequently reminded at best or screamed at at worst to "stop staring," "get closer," "calm down," or to "grow up" when their social instincts are different from the majority.

Ultimately, the dynamic between autistics and non-autistics is not merely a difference in communication styles or personality types; it is a structural hierarchy where non-autistic interacting and sensing is treated as the default human state while autism is a deviation that requires correction. This hierarchy should give care-givers of autistic children and adults, friends and family of an autistic person, or allies of disabled individuals an understanding as to why autistic individuals struggle with issues similar to other marginalized groups. Having said that, I hope that this idea of non-autistic privilege will be enough to explain why most autistics cannot keep a job (or work in a job that is more than five figures), why some autistic individuals cannot drive, why making friends or socialising with relatives is overwhelming for them, why they are loyal to a selected few people they trust but prefer solitude almost all the time, or why they "blow things out of proportion" just because of a schedule change, an item being out of its usual spot, or when someone doesn't make a lot of noise but for them it is "way too much noise!"

The privilege non-autistics enjoy is the freedom to live their lives in a world without the constant, exhausting burden of translation, adaptation, and suppression. Non-autistic privilege is not just hard to talk about but its also something that takes work to aknowledge. Recognizing this disparity is the first step toward at the very least adjusting a system that demands conformity. It can be hard to take in because understanding the immense cost autistics pay simply to exist in a world designed for others is an on-going learning process.

The reality is that the current social system we have, at least in the West, prioritizes the efficiency of the majority over the well-being of the minority. This forces autistic individuals to either break themselves trying to fit into a non-autistic mold or persist in a state of chronic marginalization. We autistics don't want to survive, we want to thrive, and the only way to solve this problem is through systemic change, not forcing individual autistics to mask, make moral changes, or to take personal responsibility.